Divorce with a child of ten to fourteen years
  At the same time facing the two of semidentata; parent after divorce and child-teenager. You are after divorce don't want to be anyone but yourself and don't know who…

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Asya Wanakena, writer, blogger: I Love to play with myself and love to watch the children at play
A little background. Recently my eldest — Rose — was 6 years old. We invited the kids to visit and planned a small quest based on the "Legends of chima".…

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The Spoiled child in the first year of life


This question comes from parents already in the first few weeks, if the baby is fussy between feedings, instead of sleep. If you put him in the crib, it all starts over again. But you should not worry. To spoil a baby in the first 6 months is very difficult. It’s possible that the kid just doesn’t feel well.

If you’re afraid to spoil the child, keep in mind that it depends on the lessons that the child learns in the first months of life. It is unlikely that he at this age already had hoped that his slightest wishes will be fulfilled around the clock. And therein lies the spoiling. We know that infants are not able to predict the future. They live only for today. So they can’t form the thought thus: “Now I’ll give them a merry life and will scream until, until they give me everything I want”.

The main thing that kids learn at this age is a General feeling of trust (or distrust) towards the world. If their desires are fulfilled quickly and with love, they feel that this world is not such a bad place. Prominent psychiatrist Erik Erikson believed that this feeling of trust is at the core of the child’s character. So the question, can you spoil your baby, the answer is “no” — until then, until he grows up enough to understand why not all his desires are instantly (probably closer to 9 months). Better ask yourself the question: how to teach a child a sense of trust towards others?

Spoiled child after six months

With a six-month baby’s parents must be careful. At this age, children are undergoing cramps and other causes of physical ailments. Of course, the children held hands in the period when they suffered a tummy, have become accustomed to the constant attention. They want to be kept on hand and are constantly engaged with them.

Take, for example, a mother who can neither minutes to endure when her baby is crying, and constantly holding him in my arms until he falls asleep. By 6 months, the child instantly go crying and starts to pull her pen as soon as she put him in the crib. To do at home nothing is impossible. Mother, of course, would like to escape from this slavery, but, on the other hand, she hates when baby cries. The child obviously feels that the mother is irritated and upset, and this becomes even more demanding. Compare this situation to the one when the mother at the first opportunity on his own initiative, takes the child in his arms and wears it all day, even if he’s not crying.

Causes of spoiled children

First, it often happens with the first child. For most people, the firstborn is the best toy in the world. If a grown man can be crazy even from his new machine, it is only natural that an infant fully draws his attention for months.

But admiration for the infant is not the only factor. Parents tend to project onto the firstborn of all his shattered hopes. They are worried that their covers are strangers before feeling full responsibility for the safety and health of helpless creatures. A crying baby makes them immediately to do something, but they still do not know what it is. When second child is born, they have more confidence and a sense of proportion. They know that kid need something to refuse for his own good, and not feel guilt, knowing that you’re doing the partly harsh, but correct.

Some parents tend to spoil their children than others. Some feel guilty in front of the child for the fact that they are forced to work long, or because in some situation are angry with your baby. Other very long awaited child and suspect that the other, they will be gone. Others are too insecure and therefore become slaves to their offspring. Someone adopted a child and believes that it should now perform superhuman feats in order to win his love and trust. Someone studied child psychology or worked in this area and believes it is now necessary to develop their professional skills.

What factors play a role here, all these parents unwittingly th-tones to sacrifice their own peace of mind and rights in trying to meet all the needs of the child. It wouldn’t be so bad if the kids knew what to ask and what is not. But they just don’t know it. Naturally, they expect leadership from their parents. If parents are in doubt, the child feels insecure. If the parents in the first cry of the baby immediately grabbed his hands, as if something terrible, if he’s going to be a moment alone with yourself, and the child immediately feels that this is really something awful. At some point, parents begin to protest, but then again I feel guilty and surrender again.

How to reform a spoiled child

The sooner you identify the problem (in the period from 6 to 9 months), the easier it will be to cope with it. But for this you need to exercise willpower and the discipline to say “no” to your child or to establish boundaries of conduct. To set yourself up properly, you need to remember that unsubstantiated claims of the child and its increased dependence on parents in the future will bring him more harm than you.

Make and if necessary describe on paper your routine. which will require you to homework or other responsibilities at a time when the child is awake. Try to perform this with the most concentrated form, so it made an impression on the kid, and you too. If the child starts to cry and pull you to handle, tell him / her calm and friendly, but firm tone that today you have to do such-and-such. Although he does not understand your words, but will catch the intonation of your voice. Now get scheduled. The first hour of the first day will be the most difficult part of this event.

One kid better get used to the change, if the mother initially will mostly stay out of his sight and he will not hear her voice. It will help him to be distracted by some other activity.

Another quickly adapts, if he, at least, will be able to see her and hear how she speaks to him, even when he’s not taking the hand. When you bring a baby toy and show you how to use it, or when you decide that it is time to play a little with him, sit on the floor next to the baby. Let him climb in your lap, but do not take in hand or carry across the room as before.

Realizing that you are not going to take it, he probably will crawl along from you. If he again decided to act up while you’re sitting next to him on the floor, remember that you have other things to do, and take care of them.

In this case you are trying to gradually step by step to help your child to develop the ability to tolerate frustration. If he doesn’t start to learn this from early childhood, later this lesson will be much harder for him.