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If the child does not want to learn

 

If the child does not want to learn, it is useless to push, to force and to swear – that you only detach themselves from it, will become his enemy. You first need to understand why all this is happening in your family: why the child does not want to study and why you so passionately desire.

– My idiot alone two wears. Don’t know what to do with it. Mind alone toys computer. Already limited it access – is not helping. Was talking to him. “I’m not interested, – says, – I don’t understand”.

Yes, this is a problem for many parents. They want to see their child ’ s…well why Einstein? – this is not necessary. Even if the Institute will go”. They want it to be “no worse than average” or “at least above average” or “best”.

Well, let’s sort things out. Tell me, why you need all this? Maybe this is a stupid question, and it’s so natural to want. …But still, try to answer it. Ask yourself: “Why would I want my child was a good student?”

We all know that the very Einstein studied is not so hot. And for sure, many people know of the examples of very happy and lucky people who have not studied well. Conversely, there are many examples of instances when geeks become losers or worse. But, our parents stubbornly insisted on good grades and chose a very different examples: “will do poorly in school – will be a janitor or Elevator operator”.

Now I’m an adult, and I’m not a lifter. I’m an engineer, programmer, or economist, or some other office plankton. But am I happy? Hmm. Because I was not taught to be happy. As this is – to be happy? I don’t understand.

– So, why do you want your child study well?

– Because literate person will be easier. It is easier to get a job. It is easier to get into high society. He can talk nicely. He understands the difference between the integral of the derivative. He knows that the sun – it is a star and it’s hot, because in the depths of thermonuclear reactions occur. Etc.

If you answer this question in a similar way, the problem is not in the child. It is useless to scold every time his deuces and continues to say that it is necessary to study well. You think this is the first time he hears? Understand that your wanting a child was a good student is not contagious. If the girl does not distinguish the hypotenuse from the leg, but brilliantly’ll tell you about eyelash extensions. it is because about the legs at the time was not contagious, but about eyelashes quite the opposite. Once a month I was told that these cosines reeks of boredom and cemetery. Tin.

You can often hear from parents:

‘You must understand, we do not criticize you. We simply want you to be happy. You’re not a stranger to us. Come on, grip the mind.

They’ve said for the thousandth time. This cargo. “We want you to be happy”, so we are going to bother you. While this happiness will not bleed through the eyes. Apparently, it will be tears of happiness. Even if you force the child to study, thus will only satisfy his desire.

How can that be?

And need to be honest. Confess that his study has not made you happy, and will not make it. And just decided not to walk around naked, just as well considered to be literate. So accepted – to breathe, to oxidative reactions in the body, and just eat the food that was the building material for the body. Most often, when you just eat or breathe – this has nothing to do with happiness. But, from time to time, occur breaths… from time to Time the most ordinary plain yogurt in a glass becomes a divine nectar. And not because it was not enough. And because this simple yogurt was in this glass at this time. And it’s true happiness.

Can you imagine what a delight lurks in the formulas of abridged multiplication?

Here’s what to teach:

Maybe there’s nothing joyful and interesting in your studies. But that’s only because you don’t see it. Just learn. Don’t think about grades. Not in the ratings business. How can another person to evaluate your condition and attitude to the subject? Where the teacher knows what the real isosceles triangle? If it is real only in your heart. Not yet open, waiting for your care. You’ll find him amongst the most common, similar unmatched. When? No one knows. However, if you start to look for him, he will open. Maybe not soon, but it will open.