Clubs for children in the summer - something to take the child in summer
  Throughout the school year, some parents are thinking about how to diversify leisure of his child, picking up interesting Hobbies, attending extra classes, cultural groups and sports clubs. But…

Continue reading →

Summer Vacation: what to do with the child, and where to find a playmate.
  Summer — time, excellent in many respects. The heat don't need to put the piles of clothes before heading out. No children's classes and, therefore, irrelevant logistics associated with…

Continue reading →

How many hugs a day a baby needs? Unconditional love

 

How many times a day should be hug a child, he has grown into a successful and harmonious person? The importance of the manifestations of the love of parents towards the child and why the child needs it is the unconditional love.

Today is the international day of protection of children. Happy holiday, friends!

And on this day I would like to talk about our love for the children.

The importance and necessity of unconditional parental love

Many parents love their children and are willing at all. And yet, low self-esteem, lack of confidence in themselves and their capabilities, indecision, inferiority complex and other complexes, as well as constant failures as a result of all of this is laid in childhood, and most often by parents as a result of mistakes in parenting.

We all throughout life need support, understanding and love. Moreover, it is desirable that the love was unconditional, to be loved for who we are. It is a guarantee that the love is gone, together with the loss of beauty, youth, a certain level of income, etc.

In our world, love is the basis of everything. Love is the strongest energy and higher vibration, it fills your life with joy, heals and works miracles, it gives the wings behind the back and gives strength to overcome all difficulties and obstacles.

Children are especially in need of love. For them this feeling in relation to them (or rather, the maternal instinct, but to a child the word “love” is more clear and familiar) subconsciously important as a consequence of the instinct of self-preservation. It provides the child a guarantee of survival: safety, satiety, comfort, that he, being a young and defenseless, you’re not useless in the lurch.

Mother with children (figure Rita Sherstyuk, 7 years old, created in the program “paint”)

Therefore, children need not only in the presence of unconditional parental love, but also constant evidence of this, and it is desirable not only words, but also actions.

Children who subconsciously doubt it, specially test the boundaries of parental love way available to them: a mischief, disobedience, etc.

How many times a day to hug a child?

For this reason, child psychologists advise parents to hug and kiss the child under any pretext and just talk to him about how much his parents love for a child there was no doubt about that.

Mom hugs and kisses the child (figure Rita Sherstyuk, 7 years old, colored pencils)

Embrace the child, it is recommended at least 4 times a day (this is necessary to him as food for survival). And to the harmonious development of the child and psychologically grow up happy, he needs at least 8 hugs a day, and even in the morning and at night.

Arms parents establish emotional contact with the child, convince him that he needed love, he’s safe, reduce the level of anxiety, etc.

Due to the lack of these simple expressions of love in children may experience emotional and psychological problems, complexes, fears, inability to get along with people and to cope with stress, behavioral problems or even mental illness.

Confirmation of unconditional love

Kids parents often ask the question “do You love me?”. If they already know how to understand their feelings and to Express them in words, that is words, if you don’t have that behavior.

And if children are in the answer to the question posed by the words, instead of “Yes” was heard in response, “Yes, especially if you don’t throw toys”, “Yes, when you’re on your best behavior” and other terms and claims, and the question posed by the behavior – slapping, shouting and threats, the child ceases to feel in a friendly, comfortable and safe environment, becomes Moody, defiantly bad behavior.

What if the child will hear in response is “No”, I think no need to explain. But the example of life will lead.

Many years ago, when the son of my friend was about 4 or 5 years, he, offended at her for something, said:

– You are bad! I don’t love you!

– Well, don’t then and I don’t love you, replied his mother.

The boy had such a tantrum that his then barely calmed. In mom’s words “I was joking, I love you!” he didn’t pay attention.

What would happen if the mom in this situation reacted to these words as a wise adult, and not as his contemporary? For example, if she hugged him and said, “I still love you! I love you always, and when you’re happy, and when I’m sad, and when they want to hurt me. You are my most dear man. And I love you very much and I understand that you said just because of the fact that now I feel offended”.

In this case, it is unlikely that the boy would have had a reason to doubt my mother’s love.

Friendly relations in the family, the assurance of love and support from loved ones is very important for child development and its success in the future!

Daughter gives mom flowers, kisses and hugs her (figure Rita Sherstyuk, 7 years old, colored pencils)

Review of good children’s books about the unconditional love of parents to their children

For those who have children of preschool age, I propose to use preventive and curative properties of fairytale therapy to combat one of the main children’s fears – the fear of being unwanted and unloved:

The 2nd part of the article contains a compilation and review of children’s books, recommended for reading with kids, gives confidence in how much parents love their children no matter what and whatever happens: “Books for kids about the love of parents for their children” .

Maybe this book is not for children but for us adults?

To remember how important and need our love and its manifestations our children at any age, not just when they are quite small.

In case we need to heal our inner child, who once long ago (and maybe now too), really lacked the understanding, acceptance, a sense of worth, significance and unconditional love.