The Psychological development of boys. Tips for parents on parenting sons
It is our greatest misfortune — we look at boys as on some winding machines, which create a constant, annoying noise and it does not require any care or communication or participation from parents. In fact, at the heart of every little boy secretly lives a hero — a little Huck Finn or Tarzan that’s just waiting to show their physical strength in a fight with a powerful enemy, and to gain approval and recognition of its uniqueness.
Experiments have shown that girls and boys use completely different approaches to establishing relations with other people. Even before the moment of birth, boys are more physical activity. Already in the eighth month of pregnancy in their blood testosterone appears; from this moment begins the physiological changes that are characteristic of boys. Attention newborn girls focused on faces and sounds, newborn boys and painabove all attracted by moving objects. The speaking and listening skills develop slower in boys, but many parents notice the precision with which they imitate such sounds as the noise of the engine, — and begin to do it much sooner than trying to reproduce the words. In the process of speech development, almost all the sounds of the girls, as a rule, are aimed at establishing verbal communication, while boys such sounds no more than 40 percent, all the rest — this is a different noise.
When children begin to play with blocks, boys build a significantly larger and higher structures, which take up more space, while the girls building toy houses, where one doll could invite the other over for tea. Boys are drawn to these toys, like trucks, they love to play in the sandbox, while girls are attracted wardrobes or doll houses.
The boys quickly become stronger — their muscular mass is on average 30 percent more than girls. They have more red blood cells, and they have a need for more physical activity. But their mental abilities are growing more slowly, not so fast, increasing the number of connections between the left and right hemisphere. (This is the reason why language skills of boys develop slower than girls, and more than slow the healing process of men after stroke in old age!)
The brains of boys reaches the state of maturity more slowly than the brains of girls, so they can quickly adapt to schoolwork. Research also shows that slow ‘start” can create difficulties for boys for several years. Therefore, even if parents think that their child behaves in an antisocial or manifesting intellectual immaturity that sometimes you have to be patient and just wait.
The most serious studies show that healthy social development of boys and girls requires the presence of two parents — men and women. The reason for this is that there are fundamental differences between the sexes, so both father and mother have an impact on the identity of the child in different ways. Attempts to smooth out these differences can cause a child only confusion and prevent the proper development of his personality. In the following chapters will be discussed in more detail on the role of the father, about motherhood, about how they can help each other and what happens when the child raised by a single parent.
The value of the clear purpose of the parents according to their gender when raising a child is undoubtedly connected with the fundamental basics of human biology. Spiritual and social maturity and the ability to navigate in life are determined by the combination of two factors: a community — the need to be around their own kind, to share their interests, connect with people and action — the desire for independence, the manifestation of individuality and the need to draw attention to themselves.
The child and roots, and wings. Roots it gets thanks to a strong attachment to the mother in the first years of life, and the wings — through education and training that can give father, his close and dear person, entering your child in a large open world. Moms teach us to rely on the ground to feel secure, while fathers — aim for the stars and boldly to resist hostile world!
Biologically boys as if nature meant to struggle, competition, and they love it. This is a test of their strength, abilities and energy that brings the boys a lot of fun and gives a lot of valuable life lessons.
Boys too rich emotional life, and we need to make efforts to protect them in this regard. Even at a very young age giving the boys the opportunity to understand their emotions, we will help them to make their lives richer in spiritual life and connection with others is much stronger and, in addition, teach them effectively resist the troubles that happen in life.
Available evidence suggests that boys and men tend not to show their feelings as much as girls. Sometimes they can even seem insensitive. But the boys are doing so for self-protection, therefore, if treated as unfeeling, and they become. The boys need us, their parents would teach them to understand their feelings and help to identify their hidden views about what is causing these feelings.
We also need to help boys understand the negative aspects of youth subculture, now common among their peers. And if possible, we should even try to get close to this group of peers to have a positive influence on them.
There are two special points that will help you in the education of sons. If you will use them, they will become your allies in this journey along the roads of education.
The first moment . if you show the boy that you have a certain plan, he will feel more secure. It does not require any special details or instructions, just need a General plan that he could follow.
The second moment . the boy would remain faithful to the one who gave him to understand that trust in him. Believe in his son — and he will be all right. Your faith in his ability and strength of character need his boyish soul.