Playing who’s your baby?
Who prefers to play your child is with their peers, with adults, with children older or with kids?
Of course, there are sociable children who are easy to contact with all age groups and successful in almost any situations. But such children are few, and they still have their own preferences. If this description applies to your child, you can only envy — your child is endowed with the so-called social intelligence (the ability to understand and predict the behavior of people, to notice and correctly interpret the details of human communication) and has no serious internal conflicts. Most likely, he is quite emotionally stable, have positive attitudes to the surrounding world and people.
Most children prefer to play with their peers. This is quite natural, as the level of development is roughly on the same level and interests often coincide. This choice is also supported by modern practice of kindergarten, where the child communicates primarily only in their group, which contains his peers.
Some children prefer to play with older students. Parents are often proud of this, considering the child is a manifestation of his advanced development. Sometimes the desire to play with the seniors really caused by the fact that the child is intellectually ahead of their peers, so they don’t take it into the game (it’s all too complicated) or he long ago “outgrown” the interests of their peers.
However, the reason for more successful communication with older children can be covered and the other not well developed abilities of the child to communicate “equal”. Imagine that you are dealing with a violent, capricious or adult conflict. As will be leaking your communication? Naturally, it will cause you irritation, and at the next available opportunity you stop. Now try to imagine a similar situation of communication, but only with the child. In it you will feel “above” and “smarter” that will allow you to have patience and be forgiving to many negative manifestations of the child. Approximately the same happens in the child’s communication with peers and older children.
So often children, especially those brought up as idols of the family and pending sympathy, leniency and concessions from all others, can’t get along with their peers, but older kids can find their position child and very funny, which makes their conflict-free communication.
As evidenced by the preference of the child role is a senior fellow in communication with guys younger than yourself? Probably, from time to time in such a role it’s nice to be on every child — it is comparing himself with younger, he feels old enough and able, therefore, to exercise towards them the responsibility and indulgence. Fiddling with kids, children are aware of and stages of their own lives, feeling her integrity and constancy of its development.
Of particular importance romp with the kids is for girls. No wonder boys babies are much less interested in. The fact is that in the process of sexual development of modern girls have few opportunities to contribute to the lives of adult women. The girl still identified with the mother, grandmother, teacher or elder sister. Little girls trying to be like them in appearance, copying mannerisms and intonation, but just being employed important as women (i.e. taking care of the baby and bringing him up), they feel really grown up.
As you can see, communication with younger children can be not only pleasant but also useful.
However, if your child gives him absolute preference and hardly plays with their peers, this should get your attention. Sometimes such situations arise when the child does not take any of his peers. Failures in communication can be caused by different reasons: the child was “black sheep” in the children’s team; due to a long illness or a trip “fell out” of communication with their friends, and they acquired new companions; because of the transition to a new school where the class is already formed; and, finally, the fact that the child cannot or does not want to share with your peers appropriate to their age, interests, Hobbies and style of behavior. In either case your child needs assistance in a sensitive and intelligent adult. If parents are not able to deal with the situation, we should engage educators and child psychologists.
Among the “home” children can be found and those that prefer to play only with adults. Often these guys have well-developed “adult” speech (which use the terms complex and revolutions), “power” behavior and very intellectual Hobbies. You would think that this is a portrait of a gifted child? Do not jump to conclusions! Mental development of such a child often does precede the development of his peers (as he communicates with adults), but at what cost is it given? After all, intelligence is not the only quality of a person that goes through many stages of development. Emotional development children should be given no less (and in preschool age is even greater) value.
Smart boys and girls, which are here referred to, as a rule, since childhood, have no interaction with other children. They do not attend kindergarten and are at home with grandma, mom or governesses. It is not luck, if brothers and sisters are not. As you know, with my grandmother and other babysitters frolic, not run and don’t fool around. Therefore, getting in our group of children at school age or earlier, such domestic children are frightened of children’s games. Unlike with older games there is always some unpredictability, some risk and rivalry. Accordingly, first came in such conditions the child, particularly troubling is unlikely to find this game amusing and throw myself in her “head”. If in such a difficult moment of his fears dispel close adults, if not focus his attention on the fact that this is a very interesting, useful and fun, can you help us understand what’s going on here and what rules, then it is likely that the child will refuse such entertainment once and for all.
Some parents will say about it: “Oh, good! But will free up your time for more useful activities and to communicate with worthy adults”. Maybe it’s not a tragedy. In the end, growing up, these children are quite mixed with other adults, and in terms of career and sometimes ahead of them. “Adulthood” calls for all. But it is only externally! In memory of the child, once proiznesshego with other children, there is such a stage, as a child, and the child who played only with adults, are always in fact was an adult. In burdened with the cares of adult life he would miss piggy childhood pleasures, sometimes to entertain, in thinking of the contents.
So if you notice your son or daughter avoids games with children, find a way to help him (her) to get rid of fear and start to learn communication, boundaries and laws which is not so certain.