Rules for parents
Measurable whether a parent’s love? In General, Yes, though it sounds a bit cynical. How much is our attitude to children?
All children grow up in different conditions. And we love them in different ways, with varying diligence trying to give them the best. Here are just idea about the very best different. Even care and caress someone gives for free and forever, under other interest and demand accountability.
Parents patrons. The norm of everyday life for them – all for the sake of the children. Any contributions, mental and physical are made sincerely and without a hint of regret. Their children are unknown, the phrase “for you I try to, but you…”. These dads and moms can have diverse interests, but children for them – it’s a real passion, often the only. One of the reasons is the imitation of those family traditions. in these dads and moms, copying the experience of their parents. The second reason is that when the child came after a long and weary years of waiting and hard got. In these cases, the comprehensive development of the child. hard work for his success to parents are not a burden, but rather one of the greatest pleasures in life.
Minus. In such families the children quickly get used to its exclusivity and as a result of waiting appropriately attitude from others. The prospect of real life with its real relationship scares them, so they are very difficult and often impossible to get out of the bunch “parents-children”. They stay together forever and the meaning of life choose to please each other.
The Council. Sometimes at least a little collectrite with children. Children need not only love, but also into a certain dose of confrontation with parents. It is at such times there is personal growth and find their own way. Quarrels, injunctions, refusals to desired in small amounts very useful. It creates a respect for parents and authority in General. What we have always in any quantity and size, our children are not able to evaluate adequately. To understand how it with us lucky, will help temporary deprivation and comparison. This does not mean that we deprive our children of his love and care ( and we will fail if we love sincerely). To sit a few days without spending money, going online and shopping is sometimes necessary. And unobtrusive without a shadow of reproach stories about other children who have the good things of life an order of magnitude smaller, is also very useful. Notice, compare and draw conclusions children learn pretty quickly.
Parents-economists. It is easy to recognize in the photos, where they with the children, and the children try to snuggle him, and the parents deviate slightly. These parents will never admit even to themselves that they are not very fond of the child. Attention, care and love they show to the extent of necessity. Supposed to read bedtime stories – read every year to the sea to bring – please.
Minus. Of pleasure from communicating with children’s parents do not receive. It could be from youth and inexperience, lack of warm relations with their parents, who do not know how to love their children and because of this are unable to teach. After all, mom’s hugs and daddy’s strong hands, throwing up, or be remembered for a lifetime, or they were not. How can you give children something he hadn’t received?
The Council. Please do not blame yourself. if you feel the child is not very warm feelings. From what you honestly admit it to even himself, will become easier. To deal with their own complexes can only boldly look them in the eye. Once you are aware of this feeling, and it miraculously can change. Most importantly, accept the truth and live on, carrying out their parental responsibilities as well as they can. And then a cool place love will come true. This is not a quick process, may take several years, but it’s worth it. Try jokingly asking “do You love me? And show me how?” to raise their confidence in the senses. Even if at first demonstrative hugs are not sincere, they still contribute to the development of attachment and love. So do not skimp on them and ask the children to do the same. At first you will regard this as necessary, and then you will not notice how your relationship with Chad will become warmer and dearer.
Parents-investors. Their love is sober, prudent and circumspect. Parents edinonachalno decide where, how and how much to invest emotions, time and money. This is the largest category of parents and of all types of relationships, this is the most harmonious. These parents carefully choose the kindergarten and school and educational groups, and come not only from desires and passions of the child, but his real potential and to evaluate it adequately. “Investors” tend to keep their finger on the pulse and monitor progress. When necessary, they will meet with the teacher or psychologist. If the child is “losing direction”, they will not be late with educational measures.
Minus. The weak point of “investors” – emotions. Their child will always know clearly what disgruntled parents, in every way that teaches the child a sense of duty. They can directly say: “Where is the expected profit?” In other words, what are we enough sleep, underfed and largely denied himself? Preschoolers and younger students on such an attitude may react emotional disorders, adolescent aggression, boys, – the desire to slam the door (you’d think they asked you not to eat and sleep).
The Council. As often as possible tell the children how you like them. Especially if you are not satisfied with something. Demands can give good results only in harmony with unconditional love. Remember when your child was crawling in diapers, you loved it just because it’s there! What has changed in a few years? That’s the same! Parents of investors children are more susceptible to increased anxiety. Too, they are set for success (in our understanding). Therefore it is necessary to discuss with children of different variants of development of those or other events, even the most undesirable. Try to find pros or to calculate the cons. It will be a good preventive of nervousness in their lives.
Parents-sponsors. They have the most perfect children – bred, neat, polite. They are always busy with something interesting and are willing to show their results. Parents consider children to be an extension of you … and a business card. Even the most desired and planned children self-centered mother, used to be the center of the universe, cannot give way. The best compliment to her – “You are so slim ( beautiful, smart, etc)! And son you have!” Parents, sponsors often are people, too value the opinions of others.
Minus. In principle, such an attitude could be dangerous, but too stressful for parents and for children. This may deprive both sides of the simple everyday joys. For example, for the entire party (or other event) parents-sponsors are concerned about how their child will perform and will it be possible to show the film to a close. And so not only for kids but also for life in General.
The Council. Shut up. Your habit to be responsible for the child on the questions addressed to him personally, must be eradicated! Naturally, you are more picturesque will tell what the picture is, and how he rested in the summer. But it is in these moments the kids have formed ideas about himself as values. Asked after him – and he should answer it. To answer as may as you want. And if his answer is embarrassing you is your pretty serious problem that you need to fight. Don’t hesitate to tell the child anything bad. The more that good you probably already told so much that Chad has formed an inferiority complex. Children sickened with stories in which you were an excellent student, a beautiful woman, and never in an awkward situation. You yourself believe that? Any truthful facts from your biography will help children to be along with you and see you more real and real.